So the Song Festival took place yesterday. I'm back home now with a serious sunburn and beautiful memories. It's hard to put the emotions into words, quite impossible actually. So I won't try. But I post some photos (not mine) here which may help you understand the size of this event. They say it was the biggest one so far, with about 29 000 singers (22 000 adults and 7000 children) and approximately 70 000 spectators. The biggest choir in the world. Madness.

Song Festival Grounds. Children singing.

From air. 100 000.

Patriotic stuff.

My brother and sister-in-law somewhere there.

With J. and H. Trying to hide my jealousy. :P One day I'll make it on stage too!

This coming weekend the whole of Estonia will go absolutely crazy. We'll have the Dance Festival on Saturday and our big Song Festival on Sunday.

It is almost impossible to express the significance of singing and it is definitely impossible to overemphasise its importance for Estonians. The Song Festival tradition started about 150 years ago and it has always been the main carrier of our national identity. Especially during the occupation years when coming together after every 5 years reminded the nation that the hope of freedom and independence was never quite dead. These were the times when any public reference to national independence was forbidden and so it was that singing - even under the red Soviet flag - became the symbol of non-violent resistance. In September 1988 there was a mass gathering with about 300 000 Estonians singing in Tallinn's Song Festival stadium. And it's almost impossible to believe but that's how we gained our independence. By singing. Not one gun was shot. Not one man died. The invincible Soviet empire collapsed and Estonians sang their way to freedom.

Sociologists nowadays describe the Song Festival tradition in religious terms. And it's accurate. Estonians who make the second most atheistic nation in Europe still have one thing and one place they regard as holy. The Song Festival is their worship service and the Song Festival stadium their sanctuary. And the experience - I can bear witness - is very religious. It is indescribable to have a choir of 20 000 singers and the audience of about 80 000 people singing together, breathing together and crying together. By the end of the festival you can't tell where the choir ends and the audience starts because everyone is standing and singing their heart out all the same. Including me.

My older brother and my sister-in-law made it to the Song Festival this year. Their choir made it, that is (the competition is tough). So I'll go and wave the flag and sit and sing and watch them sing on Sunday. Beautiful stuff.

Here's a trailer of a documentary called Singing Revolution some Americans made a while aback. It's a terrific overview of our history and the song Festival tradition and of 1988 happenings. I strongly recommend it. :) I get goosebumps every time I watch it.

Maybe I should stop posting music and start posting quotes every Tuesday for a year. I kinda like this idea. In any case, today I do both. Here's a quote from a German theologian Helmut Thielicke, a quote from one of his sermons. [A footnote - I'm digging myself into homiletics these days. That's why the sermon.]

"My life is too fashioned and guided by the same hands that beckoned the stars and the flowers at the world's dawning and make the day and the night... If a thousand years in his sight are but as yesterday, then in his eyes even my little cares will weigh no less than the immensities of Sirius; then for him the tiny stretches of my daily journey, for which I ask his blessing, are just as important as the light years that measure the reaches of cosmic space."

Epic.

Today's song is Joel Ansett's Waterfall. Thanks for the song recommendation, N.!

Poppies. [Saaremaa island]

I spent two long days on Saaremaa island at the meeting of the youth board of Estonian Council of Churches.

Before going, I wasn't quite sure why I was supposed to be there. I mean, I know how it worked technically. Our church needed to send a new member to this board to represent Adventists, my senior pastor recommended me and our conference board approved. That's how I got there. But like practically, I wasn't quite sure why it was necessary for me to be part of it. Just recently I've got this weird feeling of urgency when I've prayed for certain things, for all I know I might not be in Estonia for very long. And that's why I don't want to waste my time on meaningless things. And being a member of a fancy board for the sake of being a member of a fancy board is totally meaningless. So in a way I was looking for a reason for being there.

The event itself was totally cool. The first day was more relaxed. We were supposed to go sightseeing but as the weather was really rainy and cold, we decided to spend time indoors. Which meant we spent a whole afternoon in a spa haha! I found out it's the easiest way to make new friends - go sit in a sauna and go swimming with a bunch of people you've never met before. Add some football talk and evening worship, and by the end of a day you'll feel like life-long buddies. But on the second day we meant business so I got a general overview of the projects the youth board is running and of the future plans and the overall vision. It turns out one of the new things the youth board has initiated is an ecumenical monthly radio program for youth. I sat there like, uhmm, I've worked in a radio for more than three years. The board's chairman is like, well, this is exactly what we need, do you want to be part of this initiative, I guess this is decided then.

Looks like I'm going back to radio from September.

Yesterday on my way back to Tartu I had time to think about it (took us five hours to get back, I didn't know Estonia was that big). And I thought, so THAT's why I had to be there. That's why God arranged this thing. There is a way for me to be useful after all, there's a way for me to use my time meaningfully while being in Estonia.

I like when stuff like this happen. It's great to be part of this invisible Kingdom thing. Makes me happy. :)

Aaaaand here comes the last graduation photo. I think that's quite enough now. :)

My people.

It's the Midsummer which is kind of a big deal in this part of the world. Bank holiday and everything. As my senior pastor (bless him!) is quite strict about not working on bank holidays (unless in case of emergencies, of course), I've been able to come to Pärnu for a few days. I'm glad I could come here, especially because it was 6 months from my mum's passing yesterday so it's good I get to spend some time with my dad and by myself, not having to see anyone else.

Every time I come here, I get into a holiday mood. I play my violin and listen to music a lot louder than usual, I bake bread and go out for walks every day. It has almost become a ritual - to go to the seaside as soon as I arrive. It's like I have to check whether the sea is still in the place it ought to be. Yes, I'm a bit of a control freak. :P

And yes, the sea is exactly where it's suppose to be.

It is there!

A view to enjoy.

Even clouds and trees are big and tough on the seaside.

The colours!

A lonely duck.

A breakwater.

As to today's music, here a song that always makes me happy - Free Design and their Love You. It's one of those songs which doesn't make much sense and yet makes perfect sense. I heard it in a car commercial a few years ago and liked it enough to find it on Youtube (although I did feel quite stupid googling words 'Toyota ad music' haha!)

Run through the meadow and scare up the milking cows
Run down the beach kicking clouds of sand
Walk a windy weather day, feel your face blow away
Stop and listen: Love you

Happy Midsummer!

Some of my graduation flowers.

In my blog, I try to be careful about not writing about people I work with or my friends here. It feels unethical to talk about them behind their back, especially considering the fact that I don't advertise my blog among my Estonian friends. Well, today I'm breaking my rule.

I want to say a few words about my senior pastor.

He's, like, exceptionally cool.

When I came home from Newbold last summer, it felt like the end of the world in a way. I was so sad for the fact that I couldn't study any more and that I suddenly had to do something completely different. I had no idea I was actually being enrolled in a different kind of course where I would gain so much new knowledge. And my senior pastor is my professor. Seriously. It's only now that I'm starting to realise how lucky I am for being able to work with and learn from him. He's just six years older than me but he's been to the pastoral ministry for about fifteen years already, and it shows. He's got the vision and he's got the skills for the job. And I'm watching and learning.

It turned out that we both graduated from our MA studies this spring. His took twice as much time as mine but we both finally managed to finish our studies. My graduation was on Sunday, his graduation ceremony was yesterday. And that could possibly mean only one thing - paaartyyy! So today after the church service we gathered at his family's place with a bunch of friends and had a wonderful afternoon with a lot of food and even more laughter.

One day, possibly after my internship, I'll look back at this time and thank God for enrolling me in this class. I don't know what will my grade be for that course but I'll sure walk away with priceless experience and knowledge.