There's an old and well-known Estonian church hymn "Mu süda, ärka üles" that begins with this verse: "Awaken, my heart / And sing praises to the Lord / Who gives us all good things / And who carries our sorrow."
I sang this hymn with my fifth-graders and their teacher in the beginning of June when we had our end-of-the-year field trip. We visited a tiny little island some 10 km off the Northern coast where we did some sightseeing and had a picnic and went swimming and ate a whole truckload of ice-cream and had generally a lot of fun. When the local tour guide showed us the only church on the island, L., the other teacher, proposed we sang that old hymn then and there. The girls were a bit shy but I liked the idea so sing we did. I love that simple melody and the old words, and our voices sounded rather beautiful in that little island church.
The song got stuck in my head. It got stuck to the extent that it has become the soundtrack of this summer. Hardly a day passes without me singing it or humming its melody. And the lyrics have come alive for me in a new and beautiful way - they have become my daily prayer, so to speak.
I sang this song in Sweden a day after my mind had exploded (too much stress + too tired + too many emotions to handle) and I had a meltdown. A full-blown panic attack. I don't want to talk about it but in all the darkness that hit me, I was still able to sing this song. That's precious! And I sang that song two days later on the plane on my way home (I was wearing a mask and the plane made a lot of noise so no-one seemed to hear me lol) when the darkness had vanished and a lot of light had miraculously taken its place. I've sung it, visiting my dad and friends, swimming and having a wonderful summer vacation. The song just keeps pouring out of me, and I hope the spring where it comes from will not run dry...
Just by looking at these photos from last weekend, I start humming again.
"Awaken, my heart / And sing praises to the Lord / Who gives us all good things / And who carries our sorrow."
