The past week has been so busy I haven't had any time to sit down and reflect a bit and share my thoughts. I mean, when it's table tennis time it's table tennis time. And when it's The One Project time it's The One Project time. And when it's traveling time it's traveling time. And sometimes blog just has to wait.

But now it's the Tuesday's Tune time. Today I have to share some Estonian awesomeness with you. It's a band called Ewert And The Two Dragons and they're just about awesome. They're a bunch of talented young guys who have been lucky enough to sign a contract with the Universal. Right now they're touring in US and then they're getting back to studio to record a new album. Apparently they've got the same producer as The Lumineers so we're all holding our breath here in Estonia and hoping to see them take the world by storm soon. Check them out, like seriously. Today's song is In The End There's Only Love.

Life is only worth
When you give it away

Alone

Lying, thinking
Last night
How to find my soul a home
Where water is not thirsty
And bread loaf is not stone
I came up with one thing
And I don't believe I'm wrong
That nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

There are some millionaires
With money they can't use
Their wives run round like banshees
Their children sing the blues
They've got expensive doctors
To cure their hearts of stone.
But nobody
No, nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Now if you listen closely
I'll tell you what I know
Storm clouds are gathering
The wind is gonna blow
The race of man is suffering
And I can hear the moan,
'Cause nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone. 

/ Maya Angelou

And thus ends this month.

Tuesday's Tune

Today I want to share Ruthie Foster's song with you - it's called Love In The Middle. It's a simple song, and yet a song full of good advice. My favourite line & advice she gives is 'keep love in the middle of everything you do'. The more I learn to know life and people, the more I understand how very important it is to have love in the centre of your life. You can easily spot people who follow this advice. And well, you can just as easily spot people who don't...

I guess that's the end of the Black History Month for this year. Time to get ready for Movember now! :)

As soon as I watch through the camera lense, it's the tiniest details that fascinate me the most. Big things are static and, well, big. But little things become alive as soon as I try to capture them. And they have a soul. So I walk on campus and try to catch those little things, things that for me carry the essence of this beautiful place called Newbold.

View from Moor Close window.

The lamp that often used to be a guest prop at the Experience.

Bushes.

Moor Close curtain.

Flowers that waited for me on my arrival two weeks ago.

A glimpse of the garden.

Moor Close wall.

I went to The Experience last night and fell into the deep pit of melancholy. I sat there in the middle of people I don't know anything about and who know nothing about me, and a part of me felt a need to shout out and to let them know that The Experience used to be my baby, that it was my ministry and my cross to carry and one of the brightest Newbold memories that is still very dear to my heart. And it's not only about me, there was someone else there yesterday who used to lead The Experience even longer than I did. How come these people don't know anything about it, was my initial thought. How come? Is there anything left of what we used to be and do? Or is it really all gone?

I went out and sat on a bench after the program had ended and looked up to the skies and asked these question all over again. I didn't get a revelation or anything, no burning letters across the starry sky, but there was still this quiet voice somewhere inside that told me, No, none of what you did, none of your passion and time you gave, none of it is gone. It may not be visible any longer, and the people whom you used to meet and who kept coming to The Experience week after week may be far away, but none of it is lost. And I was reminded again that in the heart of Jesus' Kingdom movement is something mystical, something that may seem as tiny as a mustard seed or as invisible as yeast, something that is very easy to miss and overlook, but something that at the same time is real and powerful and lasting, something that Jesus never ever ovelooks.

So it's fine. I don't need these kids to know what we used to do a year or two years ago, I just need to know there's someone who takes The Experience to be their burden and cross now, and who keeps kneading the dough with the Kingdom yeast as passionately as I did, as passionately as my friends did. And who may come visit Newbold in three years time when nobody knows them, sit at the back of the Student Centre, see new people leading The Experience, and have peace in their heart and smile on their face. Yes.

Tuesday's Tune

I went to John Mayer's concert the other day. I'm still well under its spell (although my sense of hearing has somewhat recovered). I had never seen anything like this, had never been to a proper pop concert. I mean, I've seen 100 000 people singing at the song festival in Estonia but I had never seen such a crowd indoors. 18 000 people, they said. Madness. There were things about it that I liked and some that I really didn't. But in any case it was an experience worth having.

But one thing I realised - you only see things from your own personal perspective. I kept wondering throughout the concert what it would feel like to stand in front of such a crowd. I want to know. Not that I plan to turn into a pop star but I plan to turn into a preacher. Yeah!

--

But Tuesday's Tune then - it's Erykah Badu's and Stephen Marley's In Love With You. One of my favourite love songs. It has such a cool vibe to it. And that's the way it has to be for both Erykah and Stephen are utterly cool.

Newbold is like the Wonderland for me. And yes, I've become Alice. There are many things that are most natural and self-evident here which in any other context or any other world would be somewhat remarkable or extraordinary. You know, just like in Alice's Wonderland.

A small episode from last week reminded me of that. I went to hear the yearly Beach Lecture on Tuesday evening. I fought with my little jetlag, I admit, because usually back home I don't go listen to serious theological lectures at 10pm. But I was brave and the lecture on reconsiliation was really good. Canon David Porter who gave the lecture is the Archbishop of Canterbury's Director of Reconciliation. Can you imagine, what a cool profession!

And then on Wednesday morning I went to caf for a cup of tea before another long morning in the classroom, and it was Mr Porter himself who was having breakfast there. And I think Newbold is the only place where this coulnd't even make me rise my eyebrows, as if there's nothing more natural in this world than to see people like him having breakfast in our caf. So I sat down at his table and we had a short and nice conversation about reconsiliation and Northern Ireland (where he's from) and Estonia and about how the principles of his lecture do or do not apply to Estonian context. And then we wished each other blessings and I took my cup and walked to my class. Nah, nothing special.

The Archbishop of Canterbury's Director of Reconciliation he is.

This is Wonderland, I tell you!