My desk in the office is a big mess. But it is not a random mess, it's the mess of my job.

If you were to come by, you would find these items on my desk:
- a Bible
- two Bible commentaries
- plane tickets to Valencia
- a pile of essays I need to grade
- my TED Talk (or, as they call them, Journey Talk) for Valencia
- my Bible study workshop text for Valencia
- Greek text book
- Greek 'let's get ready for the exam' excercises
- a book titled Women and Ordination. Biblical and Historical Studies (not quite sure why this is here)
- time table of Valencia programme
- a birthday card from my cousin
- a bag with gym clothes under the desk

There is clearly too much going on, and at moments it's suffocating. On other moments it's exhilirating because that pile tells me I'm getting closer and closer to my dreams. (Or maybe I'm living them already?)

The youth congress in Valencia - which starts in a week's time - is obviously the big looming event which takes up most of my mental and desk space these days. I don't remember any event in recent past which I both dreaded and looked forward to with such intensity. I am well aware of the fact that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me. The list of plenary speakers is short, the speakers come both from Europe and the US, and in some mysterious way I'm on it too. This must be the doing of the Almighty, no doubt. At the same time I don't know if my prep is enough. For about two weeks now I have practiced my talk daily, I know it by heart by now. But my insecurities, those ugly little monsters, are in the back of my head and they too are working hard these days. But it's also good for me - to be thrown out of my comfort zone like that. There's an immense potential of growth for me here. The air is thick with opportunity. There's a chance the courage and hard work will pay off and will create something that's bigger than I am.

Last week my desk was clean though. I spent 4 days in a bush with our conference's youth, camping. It happened so that one of the two ladies who were asked to cook for the camp couldn't come, and I volunteered to cover for her. So for the better part of the last week I chopped carrots and cucumbers and washed dishes, from early morning til late in the evening. It was a good break from the usual desk mess (although I did walk around my tiny room during kitchen duty breaks, practicing my Talk every day).

I think there must be a balance between being a Mary and being a Martha. Sometimes kitchen duty does good to you, it keeps your feet firmly on the ground. Keeps you real. But I did get a little bit anxious by the end of these four days because the Mary stuff was waiting again. And honestly, I really can't cook. :P

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Ah, here's one picture of me preaching at the Pathfinders camp two weeks ago. I think it's a lovely picture. You can tell from that photo I love preaching.