5/01/2015

We had a bigger health conference today in our church. And as I was sitting towards the back of the church hall in the middle of cords and headphones (simultaneous interpretation equipment - not fun), busy trying to follow the speaker, for a moment I saw an unfamiliar lady who sat in front of me turn around and look at me with a rather strange expression on her face. I barely took notice because the translating job had all my attention. And then I forgot about it.

Later during the lunch my auntie came to me and asked if I had already met my mother's friend from her high school days. No, I said. The name didn't ring any bells. How could I possibly know her? So my auntie took me by hand and brought me to - yes, of course - the same lady who had stared at me earlier for a brief moment. We introduced ourselves to each other and I was so glad to be able to sit down with someone who had known my mum in a special way long time ago - they had been very close friends during their studies. And what she said really moved me. She said that at one point during the conference she had heard a laughter behind her (I couldn't remember that) and as it sounded vaguely familiar she turned around... and as soon as she saw me, she was certain I had to be Marjam's daughter. We had never met before and yet she knew instantly. And even as we talked, she kept looking at me with a bit of surprise and marvel in her big round eyes and she teared up for a couple of times as we spoke, and she kept repeating me how much I resembled my mother.

She said she'd come and hear me preach tomorrow morning.

And I realised today that I'm slowly, very slowly coming to a point where the memory of my mum doesn't only bring back the shock of loss and the heavy burden of grief, but that there are a few moments, a few glimpses of pure joy when I can talk about her and when I can meet people who cared for her and knew her and loved her in a special way. And oh, people keep telling me what a wonderful woman she was. And it seems to me that it's not just out of politeness they say it but that they were actually touched by her life and faith and her character. And to be seen even just a little bit like her... for me, there is no greater compliment one could make.

And although I'm crying again, writing these words (it's been a long while since I've cried, thinking about her), there is a little bit of joy in my tears. Just a little bit. But that's quite enough.

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