I watched a really good TED talk the other night. It was about happiness and success. The guy explained how we adapt to success and how, as soon as we've got what we wanted, the goal post for success shifts. Like as soon as you get a good job, you want a better one. As soon as you have a nice car, you really want a better one. (Hopefully it doesn't apply to marriage.) So we keep pursuing happiness but happiness is too often on the other side of success so we never really get there.

I thought about it today. I'm in Tartu again, teaching. And I remember how the conference secretary came to me some time ago with an offer to teach homiletics. And how happy go lucky I felt back then. And how I thought this was a huge success and honor for me. And it was. The first time I came to teach in January I was so excited I could barely sleep the night before. In February I was starting to get use to this place and my students so I was a lot cooler about it all. And today is my third teaching session and I'm sitting in the library minding my business and waiting for my evening class as if it was nothing. It's a strange thing how something we could barely dream of some time ago can become just an ordinary reality for us. And how often we miss the happiness just because we already have another goal to pursue.

The principle asked me to her office after the lunch today for a chat. And we talked about some administrative matters but I could tell there was more coming my way. And I was right. At one point she was like, "So the Greek lecturer is retiring in two year's time and we're looking for a new one, and we really ought to think about the generational shift as well, getting some younger lecturers in here." Wink-wink. And I said I'm planning to continue my studies and I can't promise anything but in case I'm still in Estonia in two year's time I'll let her know. Wink-wink.

And I keep thinking about it. For God knows, I probably will end up teaching full time one day. But it's a lot less about pursuing academic success and a lot more about me living my dream as if it was nothing and forgetting to be happy in the midst of it all.

That's my main problem.

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Music corner. I think I actually know more about pop music than I pretend to know. I blame gym for that. Because in gym it's Sam Smith and Ed Sheeran and Adam Levine all day long. This song I like the best these days - Adam Levine's Lost Stars. I do a lot of jogging while I listen to this song. I especially like the 'youth is wasted on the young' line. I think it's so deep I can't even get my head around it lol! And when it comes to voice, A. L. really got the jackpot. Wow.