The first elder of my church passed away this morning, literally in the middle of the sermon. He was no longer the official church elder but he had served as a pastor and later as an elder for such a long time no-one could even think of him as anything else but the first elder. I thought of him as a little bit mysterious but ever present figure in the church. He was always there. It's almost as if he had lived in our church building, he had an office where rest of our offices are and also a little carpentry workroom down in the basement and there was always something he was fixing or building down there.

He had a birthday last week. He turned 71. And we didn't see him that day which didn't surprise me at all - if there was going to be a day when, in his shyness, he didn't stick to his routine and didn't want to be around people, it was surely going to be his birthday. But it was alright because we caught him the next day, on Thursday, that is - E. (the girl who's the PA of the conference president / my senior pastor) had written a card on behalf of the conference and I had run to town to buy some roses and as my senior pastor wasn't around that morning me and E. took the card and the roses and went to basement and giggled at his carpentry workshop door and shook his hand and wished him all the best. E. even hugged him, I didn't dare. And that was that. That was that.

I'm sure the roses are still somewhere in his apartment but there's no-one to enjoy them.

But what really makes me miss him is the fact that he was not only a pillar of this congregation but also a personal shield of mine. He was so protective of me it was as if he had built a wall around me. I know there were some complaints about me working in this church, but he always dealt with them himself and never let any of that nonsense reach my ears. He was like a guarding angel somewhere behind me. And we didn't talk that much and he never said anything directly to me but I know that he talked to others about me (and when he said these things to my dad or auntie he knew very well they would in turn tell me) and praised my preaching, saying that there has never been anyone here speaking like me. He gave me a book as a Christmas present, shyly, never looking me in my eye. Last week he came and gave me and E. some oranges and told us we needed the vitamins during this nasty winter time. Dear heavens, I've really lost my guarding angel. Oh, no, no, no!

Rest in peace, A. K. Until we meet again.