I think I'm going through a bit of a blogging crisis. I don't know for sure what has caused it but I have my suspicions. It might be caused by a larger crisis I'm facing (I don't want to admit I'm actually in the middle of it) and it affects my creativity in every possible way (I've also stopped reading books which is even more worrying). Or the other possibility is that I just don't want to complain publicly.

In a sense, there really isn't any crisis. Like, I don't want you to think I'm crying myself to sleep or that I'm depressed. Nope. None of that. In that sense things are all good. But I've realised over the past few weeks that I'm trying to do the impossible and that's what drives me crazy. By and large, I have four things on my plate at the moment - 1) pastoring a local church, 2) leading two departments in our conference (education and personal ministries), 3) lecturing and making sure everything's well with our students, 4) studying. Any two out of these four would make a full time job. In short, I have *breaks into song in six part harmony* "so much to saaaaaaay, so little time!" And this inevitably leads either to a serious breakdown or to an equally painful decision to cut something off and have less on my plate. Right now I'm not sure which direction I'm heading to. And I dread the day I find out...

Sometimes I get really worried about my studies. Was it the right decision, was it the right time, will I manage, what if I won't? I mentioned it to Dr A. N. the other day we skyped but she didn't want to hear anything about a possibility of quitting. Don't you dare, she said. I don't know. It's all so very complicated.

On a brighter note, a lot has been done lately. I turned in my first assignment in Amsterdam. Right now I'm on a bus to Tartu to try and get my next paper done in the Uni's library. A week ago we were in Riga with all our pastors and many lay members at a church planting conference and it turned out to be a success. The last weekend I spent at an ecumenical youth event. Dr A. N. will come to Estonia in a week's time to give lectures to our students and pastors, I'm very much looking forward to it! And today between a meeting too long and me having to catch my bus to Tartu I managed to get most of my sermon for the coming weekend on paper.

Yup. It looks like it will be a breakdown.

Last weekend with some of my lovely youth.

In Riga with our pastors.