I didn't get much sleep last night as the back pain took over my whole life yesterday. It was around 5 am that I woke up yet again and then I cared to open one eye and check the news. Nah, I thought, it can't be, the press is just over-reacting and over-dramatising everything, by the time I wake up later in the morning everything will be alright and in proper order again. I woke up again at 9 and checked the news... and things had not got any better, insetead things had got even worse. Much much worse. The percentages were confirmed, the POTUS was elected.
I wrote a message to L. just to check I had not dreamt the whole thing up, knowing that of all my Estonian friends he was probably the one who took most interest in the presidential election. He sent back a short and a rather sad message. No. It was all real.
You can't read or listen to the news nor open the Faceook today without this one news being all over the place. So I've been thinking about it quite a lot this morning - in between eating pain killers and prepping for Greek classes - and I have to admit it is such a complicated matter to deal with. There are a few options as to personal reactions and it's a tough choice between these options.
For one thing, one could curse and shake one's fist. It's probably the most natural of responses to a nonsense with a such magnitude. And I'm very tempted, very tempted indeed. But there's this annoyingly nagging Gospel verse that keeps coming back to me - Matthew 5:22 (Message): Im telling you that anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder. Carelessly call a brother 'idiot' and you just might find yourself hauled into court. Thoughtlessly yell 'stupid' at a sister and you are on the brink of hellfire. The simple moral fact is that words kill. Now, some commentators say this 'brother' or 'sister' means 'a fellow person in your faith community' but it seems like too easy a solution. I have a feeling Jesus might have been more universal with this saying. So I cannot for the peace of mind go around, yelling insults. I did it once, a month ago or so, when Mr Trump declared that he didn't care if you were terminally ill or dying, the only thing that mattered was that you voted for him, after November the 8th you could die for all he cared. I was so mad I did call him all those names Matthew mentions in his text. But it didn't really make me feel any better. I actually made me feel a lot worse. It was as if Trump was dragging me down to his level (and then beating me with experience). This wasn't a solution.
The other solution would be to pull out the book of Revelation and share quotes from it. And somehow I feel that this isn't my solution either. I know the Revelation well enough to know its main themes - one of which is that things in this world will go from bad to worse. And that comforts me a little today, or at least it tells me that I shouldn't be shocked when I see things like this happening. Today is part of a longer process which direction has been predicted a long time ago. But I would be careful not to over-spiritualise these things, I'm not sure it does us any good.
And yet, I can't turn off the news and ignore everything either. It is important for me - as unimportant as I am - to be able to voice my disappointment and concern. I have to say (even if only in my blog) that I am deeply disturbed by the fact that someone who completely ignores basic moral values and the dignity of other human beings is allowed to hold such a powerful office. As someone said this morning, how can we teach our children that it is important to be honest, to respect people who are different from us, to work hard, to be prepared, to have moral standards, to treat others kindly when the president of the most powerful country in this world does not do any of these things. But then again - the children I know won't get their moral values straight from a powerful and scary man across the ocean. But they might get them from me, seeing how I treat others, what I say about them (including Mr President), whether I put them down or lift them up. It's as if what I spread around me - light or darkness - matters just a little bit more today, compared to yesterday. As if it should make me just a little bit more self-conscious about what and how I say or do. As if the stakes have been raised just a little higher. As if the fight between good and evil has got even more real. And that, I think, is he solution for me. To stand against hatred and stupidity and injustice wherever and whenever I can, and to be careful about my own little circle of influence. I opt for this.
I don't know if any of this makes any sense at all. If yes, I'm glad. If no, blame it on my pain killers.
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