It's been good to be back home. One thing I realised in Amsterdam was that if I only had academia in my life and nothing else, I'd go nuts rather quickly. Well, maybe not nuts but I'd lose connection with the real world (and that's pretty much the same). So I've enjoyed finding some sort of balance between academic and non-academic life again and I've greatly enjoyed doing all those things I missed so much while being away - I've had lunch with brother K. and I've called my dad, I've been out walking in my favourite park again and have enjoyed the office routine and oh, I've loved being back to gym. Balance is good. :)

But just today I realised something that made me quite sad. I have so many things on my plate and I've taken on so many responsibilities that I've become a guest speaker in my own church. And don't get me wrong, guest speaker's life is nice. Just this last Sabbath I visited a church (it wasn't my own haha), preached there and had an afternoon seminar on homiletics, everything was so nice and people appreciated my visit, I got a box of chocolate and a 'come back' invitation in the end of the day. But I don't have to sit in their board meetings, and I don't know who's going through a tough time and who's happy about something, I don't really know much about their lives. It's easy to sit on a bus in the morning and then come back home in the evening. But that's not how you have a lasting impact on someone's life, is it? Unless you laugh and cry with people, unless you actually walk the walk with them, you're not making that much difference. So I'm really struggling with the balance here. On one hand, I think all these things I do actually matter - if I can help someone understand what Biblical preaching is and if that leads to a better quality sermons in our churches then yes, I think I've done something right. But if I don't have time to visit my elderly members any more, to sit on their couch and listen to their life story, then I don't know how much the other stuff I do makes a difference for them. I don't want to become a guest speaker. And I don't want to become an administrator. How can I find the right balance?

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I'm still stuck with George Ezra. Here's another one of his songs I really like. Leaving It Up To You. And I like this video too - he's such a handsome kid!